November 18th

One year

...

 

I have been ignoring this post. Mostly because I've wanted to say something meaningful, but also because it kind of hurts to think about. That day was when my already hurt heart completely broke. The pieces have been glued back together because of Whit, Maggie and my faith. And in general we really are doing well in life. I find that if I think about it too much, well the glue doesn't do much to keep it together. 

So in simple terms....

Are we ok? Yes, we really are. Are we hurting? Absolutely. Deeper than ever. 

Our first Angel Day. 

Whit took work off that day and it truly was a happy day. We dedicated the whole day to Jonas. 

We drove by his grave and had a wonderful surprise of seeing his headstone in place. It felt great to see it there for him. It took me a year to realize that it's just a stone and no matter what it looks like, it's ok. But I needed that year to learn that. 

We went to Make-A-Wish and looked for his star. It took us a long time, but I think we found it.

Then we went again to the grave with most of our family. It was night and beginning to snow, but it felt great to be there with everyone and celebrate Jonas. We lit a candle and sent off a balloon. 

Then ended the night with dinner. On a day like that, it felt so nice to be surrounded by family. When what you want most is unavailable, the next best thing is being lifted up by those that care. 

Since his Angel day we have been busy, busy. I think keeping busy has been our defense mechanism.

Because we really, really, really miss him. 

So again not thinking about it to deeply keeps those pieces together. Maybe more time will help that glue get stronger.