Learned to love..

It's amazing how you learn to love something that you despised the first moment you saw it.
The equipment that saved Jonas' life, became constant companions and eventually became apart of him, have been sitting in his room, not being touched. Today that changed..I packed them up. As I did, it was with gentle hands, loving memories and a little sadness. These were a reminder that Jonas would not be here forever, but yet they kept him here as long as he was. Bittersweet.
Yet they won't stay long in that box. Maggie will someday need them and then we will go on that journey again. Hate them because now I have to use them on Maggie, but love them because they too will keep her here longer. Plus they were Jonas'.
I wonder if Maggie will ever get sick of me telling her about her brother? Because I can't see myself not thinking of him every time we use them. How he cried, how he was brave, How he was curious about them, how he came to love these machines too. I love him! I miss him!
As I was packing his suction, I came across some items that have been in the pockets still. Sadly, I took them out. I felt like sharing so that one day I can look back and remember again what we use to carry everyday with us as we would go out and about.

* Pass along cards that we would pull out during sacrament and talk about the gospel. These were his favorite three.
* Germ-X of course... and hand sanitizer wipes
*tape for when/if his bi-pap tubing broke or became loose. It happened once, scary! Needed tape. Once we had it never happened again.
* Jonas was always nice to let Mommy carry some treats for her in there. It was basically my purse for 3 years. So trendy!
* His i-pod and earphones.
*sunscreen..even though I have to admit, I hardly used it. That little boy had the best tan!
* beads
* his favorite princess..Snow White.
Many things came and went in the pockets, but these things stayed around for the 3 years.