Distractions

Keeping yourself busy is the best way to not think about what is missing. We've had plenty of distractions that has made this past week easier. More than a week, I can't believe that. At times it seems like just yesterday I was holding him and singing to him, but in the same instant it feels like forever.
Obviously the funeral plans take all of your time. I never knew how quick you have to act after someone passes. You basically have no time to sit and think. I am so grateful to Larkin mortuarty for helping us and taking such sweet care of Jonas. Small world, but our nurse Kellee's dad was the funeral "adviser". Again so nice to have someone you know and trust to take care of Jonas.
The funeral was wonderful. Every time I saw that little boy, I was buoyed up and had the strength to continue on. Having family and friends around showing us their support helped lift the sadness as well. Thank you to all that came to the viewings and/or funeral. It meant the world to us to see you! At the grave-site we had a little balloon launch for Jonas. 36 balloons for 36 months Jonas was with us. (I'm counting him as three...he was basically there)
Then we had Thanksgiving. All the preparation for that was mind consuming as well as having family in town. I can't tell you how grateful I am to have my brother and family here and then stay for Thanksgiving. I think it was a little present from Jonas. We went to see Tangled Thanksgiving morning and thought of Jonas the whole time. He would have loved it! Every time a song came on, I thought of him. There was a scene with a bunch of lanterns and lights, Jonas would have LOVED that! It didn't make me terribly sad because I know Jonas is happy and missing out on a movie isn't concerning to him. He probably gets to see it in heaven anyway or maybe he was watching it with us. That's what I like to think.
The day after Jonas passed we got an offer on our home. Again probably a blessing in disguise. I never really liked the idea of moving Jonas into another room. He loved his room and felt very comfortable there. That was the perfect place for him to pass. Thinking ahead for Maggie, moving is still the best thing. So on we go with the hustle and bustle of selling and buying a home. Another good distraction.
We thought since family was in town, this would be a perfect opportunity to finally bless Maggie. More details on that later, but yet another distraction.
Also we have been on a waiting list since Jonas was 6 months old to get our van modified, and now they call us and tell us things are ready to move. Seriously, a little late, but again thinking of the future for Maggie we still move forward. So we now need to sell our van to help pay the difference of a modified one. A comforting thought is that Jonas didn't miss out on these conveniences, he just paved the way for his sister.

Having my brother in town was a great excuse to go spend the nights at my parents. Which made it feel like we were on vacation, away from Jonas' empty room. I didn't want to come home because that reality was waiting for me. Surprisingly, it hasn't been has hard has I thought. I miss him with every fiber of my being, but I am at peace. I've said it before, Jonas brought peace into my life since the day he was born and he left me with a great amount peace that I hope lasts until I see him again.

I love you Jonas, and even will all of these distractions you are still in my heart and mind. It just doesn't hurt as much.